OFFICE BLUES

PRODUCT · PDF + NOTION

The script for when you’re
trying to make more money.

A fill-in-the-blank script for the eight conversations you’ll actually have when you’re trying to make more money. Not advice. Not affirmations. Sentences. With the math behind each one.

You read it once. You fill in your numbers. You have the conversations. You make more money.

$29 one-time, no upsell Buy the script →

one-time payment · pdf + notion template · lifetime updates when bls releases new occupational data · no drm · no upsell · no money-back guarantee.

BY THE NUMBERS

What’s actually in the file.

8

conversation scripts

32

counter-objection lines

4

follow-up emails

1

walk-away formula

// every script is sourced. every number cites the public BLS dataset.
// a 1% raise on an $80k base pays for the script 27× in year one.

What you get

  1. 01

    RECEIPTS WORKSHEET

    The Receipts Worksheet

    A fill-in-the-blank table where you write down your current base, your role’s BLS occupation code, your metro’s 75th-percentile wage from the BLS OEWS, and the gap. Output: a defensible target salary you can put in an email.

  2. 02

    8 CONVERSATIONS

    Eight conversation scripts

    Each one has an opening line, the ask, three counter-objection scripts, and the close. Conversations covered: internal raise ask, post-offer counter, retention counter, cold recruiter screen, leveling discussion, equity refresh, total-comp negotiation, and the “I’m leaving unless” conversation.

  3. 03

    4 EMAILS

    Follow-up email templates

    Written for you to paste into Gmail before the meeting and send within the hour after. They are short legal documents disguised as polite confirmations. Both are true.

  4. 04

    WALK-AWAY MATH

    Three numbered conditions

    Three numbered conditions that tell you when to actually leave. We are the only negotiation guide we’ve seen that does this; most stop short of telling you to quit.

  5. 05

    NEGATIVE SPACE

    Appendix on what NOT to say

    A short list of phrases that tank the conversation, with the receipts on why each one tanks it. Read this once before the meeting; cross out the line you would have said.

Why the BLS is the source

Every salary band conversation at every mid-to-large company eventually references the BLS Occupational Employment and Wage Statistics. It’s the public, primary, free dataset HR comp teams benchmark against. If your ask cites BLS, you and the manager are looking at the same numbers. That converts the conversation from feeling-vs-feeling to data-vs-data — which is the conversation you want.

Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, and Payscale are useful inputs but they’re self-reported and noisy. The script uses them as cross-checks; the primary citation is always BLS.

Who this is for

You have a job. The pay is below what your role pays at peer companies. Or your last raise was below inflation. Or you got an offer from somewhere else and you don’t know how to use it. Or you’re about to take a new job and you don’t know what to ask for.

You don’t need a coach. You don’t need a course. You need the words.

Who this is not for

Senior executives negotiating equity packages. Sales reps with commission structures. Professional negotiators. Anyone with a meaningful BATNA in writing. You already know what you’re doing or you have a lawyer.

Also: anyone who needs to be told they’re worth it. We don’t do that here. The number is in the data.

About the price

$29 because:

If $29 is the difference between buying it and not, tip what you can on the support page and email us — we’ll send the PDF.

What it won’t do

Receipts on the receipts

Sources used inside the script: